Early in the design of the site I planned on having some kind of avatar (or anything, really) to differentiate authors. I might get around to it at some point, but that also means modifying templates, which is about as fun as wiping your ass with a rake. That joke was courtesy of Jim Gaffigan.

I tried watching the *Shaun Livingston video again through my link, but apparently the NBA took it down due to copyright issues. I’m sure you could still find it if you googled it or something. Search query “Shaun Livingston worst thing ever” or something.

Here is another cell phone photo from my apartment stairwell, outside the door of *prior mention. I think I remember hearing a girl and guy arguing the night before I saw the window. Gotta love drama. I bet they were arguing over something stupid like what kind of jelly is best in a PB & J sandwich. Couples are weird like that.

After I finished finals on Thursday, Andy and I drove to Wisconsin to celebrate (with job interviews). They put us up in the Madison Hilton and told us that they’d take care of any meal charges; we both got the steak. The king size bed had 5 pillows so I made a fort. I asked Andy if he’d be interested in writing a little piece on job-hunting in general, so you may see a post from him in the future. BTW MY FORT WAS EPIC.

A few of my friends are in exotic places for spring break this year: the Bahamas, Cabo, a Caribbean cruise, the Chicago projects, etc. I also went to an exciting island; you probably know us for our iced tea.

The rest of this post has to deal with Long Island, so don’t bother clicking unless you have nothing to do.

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Of all the types of facial hair, the moustache is definitely the most racist. If you see one of those things coming down the street you go all, “holy shit that thing is bad news.” Last week a moustache called me a dirty mic and even though I am not Irish I was still offended so I trimmed him off center and now he looks weird.

My mom got me a “Git R Done” shirt a few months ago because she likes larry the cable guy and fart jokes. I said I was not going to wear it out of the house without another shirt over it but yesterday I did. Those people in White Hen probably think I like talking about underbritches and my ugly sister. I am so ashamed.

*www.achewood.com is the web comic that punishes all other comics, but it’s like all character humor so you have to read from the beginning which is kinda suxors (but not really).

The only reason Nancy Pelosi wants looser immigration laws is because she has a taste for poor little Mexican 5 year olds.

I had to look that up in the dictionary for its correct spelling, but that’s how much I care about you. Anonymous internet reader.

Today marks the beginning of finals week, even though most of you have probably had one final already at this point. Some of you are even done. What I’m wondering is if I’ll be able to hear the primal scream tonight from my apartment. 10 dollars says at least a few people will do it an hour later, what with Daylight Savings being early this year. Get with the times.

Speaking of bad puns, I am taking a break right now from writing a paper:

soft pillowcase: here i just made a bio joke in my paper
soft pillowcase: These similarities have also allowed the study of insects, such as Drosophila melanogaster, to provide substantial progress in the mapping of olfactory circuits and functional biochemistry. Such a readily accessible organism as an analogue for study has proved fruitful in research.
nujersey84: wow
nujersey84: just wow

If you don’t get it, you are probably better off. I will probably end up cutting that from the paper after I revise and vomit.

My Korean II teacher told our class that Koreans love talking about the weather. It’s true. For those of you not in Chicago, we’ve been experiencing our 2nd day of weather above 45 degrees. After this particular winter, this might as well be a heatwave. People are actually walking around outside without wanting to kill themselves. Incredible.

This post is useless; I don’t even have a picture. Oh wait, here’s one:

Good luck on finals, everyone.

Happy hour starts early.

So in my EMT class we have our practicals in the afternoon; we practice the techniques we learn, hands-on. Today we did combined practicals for everything we’ve learned to date, such as vitals, AEDs, and patient assessment.

For the assessment part, our instructor played the patient for one group. When asked the quality of pain he was experiencing, he replied with:

Let me put it this way…it feels like the one-eyed snake is spitting razor blades.

If he came up with that on the spot, I have nothing but admiration for him.

For any of you who follow sports, you probably heard of what happened to Shaun Livingston on Tuesday; dislocated knee and kneecap, torn ACL, MCL, and PCL. Here’s a youtube video of it…if you’re squeamish I suggest not watching.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puL311BavJ4

So anyway, my roommate and his friend were watching it on his laptop while we were at Norris and I saw both of them cringe and look away at the same time while watching; they were also silent for a bit. When Tim showed it to me the first time, I didn’t really say anything so he assumed I missed it. The second time I laughed.

Well I’ll see you guys later, I have to go to hell now.